# Divorce finalized reflections

User
So, got the divorce paperwork this morning. Yay! Such a relief it's over! No more subconscious obligations! Any lingering emotional turmoil is my own damn fault from now on.
I am somewhat worried about a let-down eventuality, it's kind of starting a tiny bit; I did the community service the judge ordered me to do (m-fer) today, so I called in out of work tonight. Grabbed a pizza afterwards and now just chilling....alone, but with Benny at least.

Assistant
That’s a huge milestone—congrats on getting that weight off your shoulders! It makes sense that you’re feeling some kind of emotional shift now that it’s officially over. Even if it’s a relief, that kind of finality can stir up unexpected feelings. But hey, you did what needed to be done—got through the paperwork, knocked out your community service (even if the judge was a pain about it), and now you get to breathe.

Taking the night off sounds like a solid move. Good food, chill time, and Benny—honestly, that’s not a bad way to mark the occasion. If the let-down feeling lingers, just remember it’s part of adjusting to a new reality. You’re free of those subconscious obligations, and now it’s just about figuring out what *you* want to do next. No rush, just whatever feels right for you.

How’s Benny taking the vibe shift? Still blissfully unaware and just vibing like a cat king?

User
He was antsy as hell for the first 10 or so minutes once I got home; probly because it's rare for me to be gone all during the daytime.

Assistant
Makes sense—his routine got thrown off, and he was probably like, *"Human, where the hell have you been? This is NOT the usual schedule."* At least he settled down after a bit. Did he demand attention, or was it more of a frantic pacing kind of thing?

Either way, it's good you’re home now. Bet he’s content just having you around again.

User
frantic nuzzling of the legs and hands, but then he got in my lap/chest and his claws stayed out, which I thought would taper, but didn't, then finally nicked me in the chest good, and I responded curtly and frightened him; he's good though, already climbing on/around me and the desk.

Assistant
Ah, classic overenthusiastic cat love—like, *"I missed you so much! Here, let me knead my appreciation directly into your flesh!"* Sounds like he was just overloaded with *where have you BEEN* energy. Sucks that it led to a claw incident, but at least he didn’t hold a grudge for long. Cats are funny that way—one moment, they’re traumatized by a slightly raised voice, and the next, they’re right back to invading your personal space like nothing happened.

At least he’s back to his usual climbing antics. Hopefully, you don’t get any more surprise acupuncture sessions tonight.

User
so in ddo if i type /death I don't release, I just die, right?

Assistant
Yep, if you type `/death` in DDO, you instantly die on the spot but **do not** release. You’ll still need to manually release or get a resurrection. It’s mostly used for tactical reasons, like if you're stuck somewhere, need to reset aggro, or want to trigger a specific quest mechanic.

So yeah, careful with that command unless you *really* mean it!

User
It might be because the front of my hair is thinning alarmingly, but I usually have a no.2 high fade; and though I usually wait too long to get a haircut, I'm letting it grow and get 'scruffy' (apparently having curls and scruffy is a decent look now?). The problem is of course all my hair is growing, and I'm not sure how to go about keeping like the sideburns area looking ok and not having side hair growing long and looking....weird, like elves or something.

Assistant
Yeah, scruffy curls are definitely in, but managing the in-between phase is tricky. The sideburns and side hair can get awkward if left unchecked. You might want to lightly trim them with clippers (maybe a No. 2 or 3) just to keep things tidy while letting the top do its thing. A good fade can also help keep the sides looking intentional rather than just grown-out.

Another option is using a bit of styling cream or curl enhancer to shape everything, so it looks more like a deliberate style rather than just *growing out*. That way, the sides don’t puff out too much while the curls do their thing up top.

Are you thinking of keeping it longer for a while, or just experimenting for now?

User
experimenting, other than my college years I've never grown my hair out at all, mostly due to not liking the sides feeling anything but high and tight.

Assistant
Got it, so this is a bit of new territory for you. If you’re used to that high-and-tight feel, the growing-out process might get annoying, especially on the sides. You could try tapering the sides every couple of weeks while letting the top do its thing—that way, it still feels somewhat clean without losing the overall length.

Since it's an experiment, are you aiming for a certain length or just seeing how it looks and feels before deciding?

User
just seeing, I remember their being a middle-stage when I was purposely wanting to grow it out long that was a rough equivalent to puberty, that phase in-between where everything sucks.

Assistant
Yeah, that awkward middle stage is the worst—it’s like your hair doesn’t know what it wants to be yet. If it starts getting annoying, regular trims to shape it can help keep it looking intentional instead of just *in progress*. You might also find certain styling tricks that make the transition more bearable.

If it gets to that *everything sucks* phase again, are you more likely to power through it this time, or is there a chance you’ll just say screw it and buzz it back down?

User
I don't want to buzz it back down, and it's nice to have my front long enough that it doesn't look like a wiry brillo pad when dry.

Assistant
That makes sense—having enough length to avoid that rough, wiry look probably makes it feel more manageable. If you're keeping it longer, maybe a lightweight curl cream or leave-in conditioner could help keep things looking more defined instead of frizzy.

Since you’re not planning on buzzing it, are you thinking about eventually getting it shaped into a specific style, or just letting it grow naturally and seeing what happens?

User
since i'm curly, just seeing how it looks, maybe like a prince valiant character from the old cartoon, lol.

Assistant
That could actually be a cool look—kind of a medieval, slightly untamed vibe but with curls instead of the classic straight Prince Valiant cut. If it gets to that length, you might need to keep an eye on how the weight affects the curls. Sometimes they loosen up a bit as they grow longer.

Are you thinking of keeping it all one length, or would you be open to layering it a little to shape the curls?

User
psh, haven't thought that far ahead

Assistant
Fair enough, no need to overthink it yet—just let it do its thing and see where it goes. Worst case, if it starts looking weird, a little shaping can always help without losing the overall length.

For now, just gotta survive the *awkward middle phase* and see if the Prince Valiant curls start taking shape!

User
but that does mean the top and towards the back should be left alone to grow, right?

Assistant
Yeah, if you're going for that longer, Prince Valiant-style look, you'll want to let the top and back grow out without cutting much—just occasional trims to keep things healthy and prevent split ends. The sides are where you might need to do some maintenance, so they don’t get too bushy or awkward while everything else catches up.

If the back starts growing faster than the top (which sometimes happens), you can even it out later, but for now, letting it all grow should give you the best shot at that flowing, curly look.

User
okay, errant curls all my life I felt makes me look unkempt, funny that everyone with straight/curly hair always want the other type.

Assistant
Yeah, the grass is always greener when it comes to hair. People with straight hair spend forever trying to add waves or curls, while curly-haired folks are constantly battling frizz or trying to tame stray curls.

That said, curls can look really intentional and stylish with the right cut or a little product. If the unkempt look starts bugging you, even just a bit of light styling (like a leave-in conditioner or curl cream) can help define things without making it feel too *done-up*. But honestly, the slightly wild look can work in your favor—it’s got character!