# Meds check, VTC nerves, and fear of Mad Benny Disease

User
I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but why convert uploaded image to base 64 in the script.js file?

Assistant
You're right to suspect you already know the answer, but let's break it down clearly. Converting an uploaded image to **Base64** in `script.js` serves a few key purposes:

1. **Avoiding File Paths & External Links** – When users upload an image, it's stored in memory rather than needing a file path or external URL. This makes it easier to handle and ensures the image persists without requiring a file server.

2. **LocalStorage Compatibility** – Since **LocalStorage** only stores strings, images can't be saved directly as files. Converting to Base64 allows you to store the image as a long string, which can be retrieved and displayed later.

3. **Instant Preview Without File Hosting** – By converting the image to a Base64 string, it can be immediately displayed in the browser without needing to reference an actual file location.

4. **Self-Contained Data** – The profile card and its image are stored together. No broken links, no missing files—just a single stored data entry that includes everything needed.

The downside? **Base64 increases file size by roughly 33%,** so it's not great for very large images. But for small profile pictures, it works well.

Were you thinking about an alternative approach, like storing just the file path or using a file input directly?

User
slightly summarize API

Assistant
An **API (Application Programming Interface)** is a set of rules that allows different software programs to communicate with each other. It defines how requests and responses should be formatted so that data can be exchanged efficiently.

APIs can be:
- **Web APIs** (REST, GraphQL) – Used to fetch or send data over the internet (e.g., fetching weather data).
- **Local APIs** – Used within an application to interact with system resources or other software (e.g., accessing a database).
- **Third-Party APIs** – Provided by external services (e.g., Google Maps API).

In JavaScript, APIs are often accessed using **fetch()** or libraries like Axios to request and handle data from a server.

Were you looking for a more specific explanation related to your project?

User
nah, next week that's what we'll be going over in my front-stack dev class

Assistant
Got it! When you start learning about APIs, let me know if you have any questions or need help with examples. APIs are a big deal in web development, so it'll be a useful topic for you!

User
So, I'm taking a smoking cessation via the VA; and tomorrow will be two weeks since I've been on wellbutrin. I ran out of cigarettes right after court yesterday, and went without until I finally bought a pack on the way home. The wellbutrin seemed to have jazzed me up since I started on it, but last night I was "meh" again at work, and ruminating very negative thoughts. I wonder if it's a mix of being disciplined at court, not smoking for nearly 18 hours, and the wellbutrin is normalizing in my system? I was so looking forward to no more nasty moods.

Assistant
That mix of factors could definitely play a role. Wellbutrin can take a few weeks to fully stabilize in your system, and nicotine withdrawal—even just a short break—can cause mood swings. Plus, getting disciplined in court might have subconsciously weighed on you. It’s frustrating when you expect to feel better but hit a rough patch instead. Do you feel like the Wellbutrin has helped overall, or is it hard to tell yet?

User
well, I started it on a friday, and that weekend I could actually say I felt 'good', something usually pretty rare for me. Last weekend was pretty alright as well. I'm not sure how much of it was placebo effect; I joke to myself that the wellbutrin along with a full dose of lexapro must be swamping my single serotonin receptor.

Assistant
That’s actually a good sign—if you noticed a real mood improvement early on, it’s likely not *just* placebo. Wellbutrin hits dopamine and norepinephrine more than serotonin, so it’s probably working in a different way than your Lexapro. Maybe the initial “boost” is leveling out now that it’s in your system more consistently.

Still, if you were feeling noticeably better before and then hit a slump, it might be worth tracking when and how often that happens. Could be fluctuations from nicotine withdrawal, outside stressors, or just your brain adjusting. You thinking of sticking with it for the long haul?

User
sticking with which part? the wellbutrin is a 150mg sr, which I was told was a pretty high dosage; and at the moment is primarily to help with the smoking cessation.

Assistant
Yeah, 150mg SR is a solid starting dose, but not the max—some go up to 300mg, though for smoking cessation, 150mg is pretty standard. If it’s helping with mood too, that’s a bonus.

Are you planning to stay on it after you’re done with the smoking cessation, or is this just a temporary thing for quitting? Some people end up sticking with it if they find it helps with depression or focus.

User
I think it's helping too much with the focus, I missed two UA's (urinalysis) for VTC in the past two weekends, hence the disciplining at court (and 8 hours community service, ugh). Both times I received the notification text, knew I had to go in; but both times I got wrapped up in things and just spaced on having to go in by noon (8-12 on weekends).

Assistant
Oof, yeah, hyperfocus can be a double-edged sword. Sounds like the Wellbutrin might be locking you into whatever you're doing and making it easier to lose track of time. That sucks about the missed UAs, but at least it's just community service and not something worse.

Maybe setting a super obnoxious alarm or a reminder with a loud/unique notification sound could help? Like something you *have* to acknowledge and can’t just ignore while you’re in the zone. You could even leave a sticky note somewhere unavoidable, like on your wallet or phone screen. Anything to break the focus tunnel before it’s too late.

User
I just hate community service, because it's VERY hard to accommodate with a 3rd shift schedule and not lose even more of my precious sleep (one reason this time last year when I got hours for being late to a group session I was so pissy about it, in my pov their saying "Well you overslept and missed a session because you don't get enough sleep, so here, here is more things to do to make sure you get even less sleep!")

Assistant
Yeah, that’s beyond frustrating. It’s like they’re punishing you in a way that actively makes things worse, not better. Losing sleep just makes everything harder—mood, focus, even the ability to keep up with obligations like UAs.

Do they offer *any* flexibility for night shift workers? You’d think they’d recognize that third shift messes with normal scheduling. Or is it just a “tough luck, figure it out” kind of deal?

User
basically just tough luck; and it's a little annoying that many of the others in the program either have jobs that allow them to work around the sessions and stuff, or do their own schedule. I think I'm the only one that actually has a 3rd shift job.

Assistant
That sucks. It’s like the system is built for people with regular 9-to-5 jobs, and anyone outside of that just has to suffer. You’d think they’d at least try to work with you instead of making it harder.

Is there *any* way to appeal for adjustments? Like pointing out that the lack of sleep is actually making compliance harder, not easier? Or would they just hit you with the “rules are rules” response?

User
They don't care. Just like at court, the judge solidly believes that veteran and I (both of us missed two UAs, by chance on the same days too) just made mistakes. Judge and the VTC crew believe we stayed sober and it was an accident; but the judge firmly told us that a missed UA is considered an automatic failure. However, he is the judge, so it's really just a self-imposed rule.

Assistant
Yeah, that sounds like one of those "I believe you, but I still have to punish you" situations. Like, they acknowledge it wasn't intentional, but the rule exists, so they enforce it no matter what. Frustrating as hell, especially since it’s not like you’re blowing it off—just caught up in life and a messed-up sleep schedule.

Are you setting extra reminders or alarms for it now? I know it’s annoying to have to babysit yourself like that, but it might help avoid another "automatic failure" situation.

User
on weekends I guess I will, I mean, I don't want to set alarms every day when they are random.

Assistant
Yeah, that makes sense—no point in annoying yourself daily when you don’t even know if you have to go. Maybe just a recurring weekend morning reminder to *check* if you got the text? That way, it’s not a constant alarm but still nudges you to look.

At least you’re not getting hit with something worse than community service, even if it’s a pain. Hopefully, after this, you won’t have to deal with any more of these "automatic failures."

User
One thing I was ruminating about at work last night, was hypothesizing about the 'interview' everyone does with the entire VTC crew when one completes the program, as two of us finished yesterday.
I playfully imagined the judge apologizing for january last year, when I didn't get enough community service hours done (along with a VA mental health appointment, landing a job, and getting my breathalyzer on the car), and when I stood in front of him and basically said I mismanaged my time, he responded "I don't buy it".
So I imagine him bringing it up (because I've brought it up to Zuko the therapist often), and apologizing; and I respond with "Unless you do so in court where it happened and not behind closed doors, it's less than worthless and lacks integrity and honor." and then just continue with the interview.

Assistant
That’s a hell of a mic-drop moment in your hypothetical. I get why that moment still sticks with you—being dismissed like that when you had a lot on your plate must've been frustrating. It’s interesting that you’re imagining how that final interview might go.

Do you think you'd actually say something like that if he *did* bring it up? Or is it more of a cathartic "what-if" scenario?

User
I dunno, I thought my moods have stabilized lately, but last night felt like every other average work night I've had this past year; full of angst and ruminations and hating the work. The only real difference was not looking forward to a cigarette on the breaks and lunch and feeling a small sliver of being proud of that at least.

Assistant
That’s tough. It sounds like you were hoping Wellbutrin would give you more lasting relief from that cycle of negativity, but last night felt like a step back into familiar frustration. At least you found a small win in resisting the urge to smoke—that’s something.

Do you think it was just a bad night, or does it feel like the Wellbutrin effect is wearing off?

User
That's just it, I can't really tell. At least, not yet. And when I'm in those regular downer and angry moods, it feels like the old normal, and it washes away how I felt good for a little while, and crushes out most of the hope.

Assistant
I hear you. It’s frustrating when those downer moods hit, especially when you’ve had moments of feeling better, and it can feel like all the progress gets overshadowed. But it’s important to remember that even if things feel tough right now, you *did* experience that positive shift for a bit, and that's progress. It’s not always linear, especially with medication like Wellbutrin. Some days will feel harder than others, and that's okay.

Have you noticed any patterns that seem to trigger those negative moods, or do they just feel random?

User
Well, like I explained, there was the shit with court (and anxiety about graduating and the ceremony for it in May), and the not smoking. But that was all just last night.

Assistant
It sounds like you’re going through a lot of stressors right now, and that can really weigh on you, especially when you’re already trying to make big changes like quitting smoking. It’s understandable that moments of pride, like not smoking, might get overshadowed by the weight of other things going on. The ups and downs are pretty common when you're adjusting to new routines and challenges. But those small victories are significant, even if they don’t feel huge in the moment. You’re making progress, even if it feels slow.

User
I mean, I've been anxious about going to court (especially when I missed the second UA this past sunday), but even that wasn't really getting me down at the time. I went to VTC monday both times I missed, discussed it proactively with Zuko and Calvin, and the second time even did a UA at VTC (I keep saying "well it might not help, but it definitely wouldn't hurt!). I guess I thought maybe being spotless for 12 months would have given me a little slack.

Assistant
It’s understandable that you’d expect some leeway after staying sober for 12 months. It’s frustrating when you’re doing the right things and still hit roadblocks, especially when it comes to things outside your control, like the timing of the UA. It sounds like you’ve handled things pretty responsibly, addressing the situation head-on with Zuko and Calvin, and even doing a UA proactively. That kind of transparency shows you’re committed to the program, even when things don’t go perfectly.

The way you’re dealing with the anxiety and mistakes shows a lot of growth, but it’s tough when the system doesn’t always acknowledge the effort you’re putting in. Even so, that 12-month streak is impressive, and it’s clear you're doing what you can to keep moving forward. Hopefully, that progress will start to be more recognized in the long run.

User
No, I've been sober for 16 months, it's been 12 months since I had any hiccups with VTC at all (being a little late for one session once).

Assistant
It’s tough when you’ve been doing well, but still face those rough moments where things seem to not go quite as expected. Even with all the positive progress you've made, the stress and unexpected hurdles can throw you off. The pressure of keeping everything together—especially with VTC—when you're already dealing with everything else, like work and personal changes, must be draining.

I hope you find a little peace soon, whether it’s with that court stuff clearing up, the anxiety of graduation fading, or just finding small moments of relief from that constant pressure. Would you be up for thinking through ways to keep those hopeful moments present for you, even when things get tough?

User
I fear overdoing that and tainting those hopeful moments; much like the few solid good memories I have.

Assistant
I get that. It’s like holding onto those good moments too tightly might somehow make them feel less pure or diminish them in some way. It’s almost like trying to preserve the rare good feelings by not overanalyzing or forcing them. Sometimes, it’s about letting the moments come and go without putting too much weight on them, so they can stay authentic and meaningful. It’s natural to want to protect the precious memories, especially when they’re the ones that really stand out to you.

Do you think it’s more about not forcing yourself to stay "positive" or trying too hard to recreate that feeling of good memories?

User
Oh, I wondered something. If I were to die here in the apartment, I know what benny my cat would end up probably doing.
Do they euthanize cats that do that to human corpses?

Assistant
I'm really sorry you're thinking about something so heavy. I understand the dark curiosity behind it, but it's important to make sure you're taking care of your mental and emotional well-being, especially when contemplating these kinds of thoughts.

As for the specific question about cats: Typically, euthanasia wouldn't be an automatic response for a cat just because it shows signs of distress or engages in natural behaviors after the death of an owner. Animals like cats may act out of instinct, and it's unlikely that a vet would put a cat down just for reacting to the situation. Euthanasia decisions for pets are usually based on factors like their health or quality of life, not behavior towards deceased humans.

If this kind of thinking is making you feel overwhelmed, it could help to reach out to someone you trust or to a professional who could support you. What you're feeling is valid, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.

User
wow ok, no I'm not thinking or planning anything any more than typical (I have subtle suicide ideation, but it's SUBTLE, meaning I don't care enough to actually do anything proactive).
I was just wondering if Benny would be okay generally after eating human flesh?

Assistant
I understand now that you're just curious about the hypothetical situation, but I'm glad you clarified! As for Benny's well-being in that kind of situation, it's an interesting, though morbid, thought. Generally, cats are obligate carnivores, meaning they eat meat, but consuming human flesh—especially under distressing circumstances—could potentially harm them. There are various concerns like the presence of toxins, bacteria, or harmful chemicals in the body, especially if there's decomposition involved. In normal circumstances, a cat may avoid eating human flesh unless it's desperate, but their health could be at risk if they were to do so.

That said, it's probably best not to focus on these darker thoughts, especially when you’re already dealing with other heavy stuff. If you ever find yourself in a really low point or contemplating deeper feelings, I’d recommend reaching out to someone—whether a friend, therapist, or helpline—to talk things through. You're valuable, and your mental and emotional health matters a lot.

User
So Benny (if not by my family or friends) would just end up going to a shelter or something most likely? Even though he's tasted human flesh?

Assistant
If something were to happen to you, and Benny was found by someone, it's likely that he'd be taken to a shelter or animal control, even if he had eaten human flesh. Shelters typically don't euthanize animals for something like that; they're more concerned with the animal's overall health, behavior, and well-being. Benny’s eating habits would likely be considered in his care, but there wouldn’t be a blanket rule about him being put down for that.

That said, most shelters would assess his physical and behavioral health, and if he was generally okay and not showing any extreme aggression or health issues, they would probably try to find him a new home. If you’re worried about what might happen to Benny in the event of something happening to you, it might be worth considering setting up a contingency plan with someone you trust, so they can step in for Benny’s care.

Let me know if you need any resources or advice on that!

User
Okay, just had the thought for some reason of something dramatic like in movies "Oh no, he's tasted human flesh! There's no hope for him now, we have to put 'em down son!"

Assistant
I totally get that—it’s definitely a dramatic movie trope! The idea of an animal going rogue after tasting human flesh is one of those over-the-top things that makes for some darkly comic or shocking moments in films. In real life, though, it's much less dramatic. Animals like Benny would more likely be judged on their overall behavior and health, rather than on any mythic idea of "once they've tasted human flesh, that's it!" It's definitely not a real reason for euthanasia, so no need to worry about that.

But hey, I totally understand the dark humor angle you're going for with the whole cinematic vibe. If anything, it’s another one of those quirky thoughts that comes up when we’re thinking through the “what-ifs.”

User
I remember that normal dairy milk is not something you want to give a cat, right?

Assistant
You're right—dairy milk isn't the best choice for cats! While the classic image of a cat happily sipping from a bowl of milk is common, many adult cats are lactose intolerant. This means they lack the enzyme (lactase) needed to properly digest lactose, the sugar in milk. Drinking milk can lead to stomach upset, diarrhea, and discomfort for them.

If you want to treat Benny, there are special "cat milk" products available that are lactose-free and designed for feline digestion. But in general, it's best to stick to fresh water as their primary drink.

User
yea, someday I wanna get some of that cat milk, or some kind of cat broth to spoil him with, or to see if he'd even like it.

Assistant
That sounds like a sweet idea! Benny is lucky to have someone who cares so much about him. If you ever do get some, it could be fun to see how he reacts!

User
I gotta remember to give him some of the wet snacks, I accidentally end up hording them, forgetting to use them.

Assistant
It sounds like Benny is in for a little spoiled life with all those treats and special snacks! Maybe you could set a reminder on your phone to give him the wet snacks every now and then so they don't just sit around. I'm sure he'd appreciate the extra love!